Aloys's Weekly Lame List!

I'm back! Two more exams to go, and homeward bound in 25 days! So in honour of my eventual return, my Top 5 (who says a list must be 10!) List of Things I will do once I'm back in Singapore... 5. Go Geylang and visit the hookers there eat You Tiao! + Tao Huay! 4. Go Balestier and call chicken....rice. 3. Go Orchard Road and then go Lucky Plaza to pick up maids watch mobee. 2. Go Changi and have raunchy sex with transvertites and eat Nasi Lemak. 1. Last but not least, gett laideat as much char kway teow as I can and die of cholestrol overload. I'll be talking about some boring ethics thingy tomorrow! Idea in my head and stuff. Cheers~

Ze One about Oral Sex!

Wah! Oral Sex! Excited? I am gonna tell you about salicious details of oral sex just like Xiaxue did! (Or I think she did!) I am gonna tell you about how good it feels and stuff! Woot! NOT. Cos Charlene ask me about Singapore laws with regards to Oral Sex here goes: (Do note that I have not touched law subjects for like 6 years and may be rusty. However I was very good at criminal law, cos I am a wannabe criminal and to know the law den can break the law....) 1. Oral Sex is illegal in Singapore! (That's right folks! You can't do it!) Unless of course:

(a) that it is used as a prelude to actual (read normal) sexual intercourse which means:

2. That you can't use it for animal/homosexual sex. (Which is illegal in the first place)

3. That of course means that you can do as much oral sex as you want, as long as you make sure you have sexual intercourse after you do it. This also of course means you cannot have oral sex after you have sexual intercourse. (Wierd? Cos that's the way the law was interpreted when a ruling was made)

4. The funny thing is, who's gonna report that you made an illegal sexual act? Your partner would also get charged, and if:

5. You're a peeping tom, you will also kanna for pao-tohing other people having oral sex cos they never follow up with fucking... Who's so stupid right?

6. If I recall correctly, the law was made due to some idiot having oral sex with an underaged minor or something. So... this of course leads to..

7. Lastly: There are rumours (I cannot confirm because I having touched law stuff for 6 years) that they are gonna legalise oral sex... so that means... you can have as much oral sex as you want. But... I not too sure if it has already been legalised. Think about it. So wierd if you have a law in the Penal Code that says:

Oral sex, the act of sexual stimulation to another person's sexual organ through the use of a mouth, teeth or tongue is allowed as long as the other person is of an opposite sex and not an animal.

Of course, my wording is not very law like cos I'm fuck lazy. So... all you out there ah.. Don't anyhow play play!

Ze Not so Kaopeh about dinner

Firstly: Thank you you for the jelly, Mingsia. (I hate jelly btw, but had to finish it all cos Phil + Leona didn't want any..well Phil did eat abit... but..oh well...) It was...nice lah. Haha (I still dun like jelly btw. :P) Secondly: Hey Leona, Phil + Felicia Thanks for habing dinner with me. I was just thinking of a normal dinner cos so long never go out with you guys le. I should have been more suspicious when Phil drew out so much money. And when you guys keep asking me what I want. Paiseh, I am super blur. Thanks for the treat lah. I feel damn paiseh now. I didn't really expect it cos I don't really like celebrate this kind of stuff anyway. So...here are some pics

The shop..when the food first came, the portions looked so small for 4 people. Then we started eating, and then that's when we realise bloody hell, it looks small but IT IS IN NO WAY SMALL cos struggled to even finish the food man.

Phil and Feli Phil + Leona So, thanks again lah. It was a great meal. Better then expected (cos the entree wasn't that good...) But the mutton curry was...omg *drools* Now, I'm too bloody full to rush my projects. I'll chiong them tomolo. Broadcast target project time: 2 hours. Then gotta chiong the ethics to finish before friday. Rush rush! Blogging may be delayed till next week. p.s. Cool to bump into Peiwen, Ruchika and Jolene at Coles. It's like every aisle I bump into someone. Funny.

Ze Addnote about Birthdays

While I appreciate the people who actually wished me and found out/know etc... Again, thanks but (no thanks). Unless it comes with an expensive gift of 1. DVD boxsets of Babylon 5 Season 1 to 5 (or just one season) *wink* 2. hardware for my computer I, of course, being in this situation a Singaporean first and foremost, will definately not reject any expensive gifts. That being said, you can always give me these gifts anytime you want, however if I have to convieniently use the day I was brought forth (knn just say born right?) into this world as an excuse for receiving expensive gifts... Sure!!! ABSOLUTELY Otherwise, you can always give me expensive stuff at your own pleasure. So...please, no more happy birthday singing or whatever, it makes me wince in agony. Ironically, I do celebrate other people's birthday. I'm such a hippo(crete). Snort Snort Hippo sounds. (pun intended).

Ze Kaopeh About Blackouts!

Firstly to sneak in, I'm now officially 2418. I almost succeded in not getting wished by people in Aussie till Mingsia remembered suddenly. Tmd. Then she told Zoey. Tmd. Oh well. You guys are technically 2418 years too late in wishing me happy birthday. :D And please, no birthday comments too. I hate birthday cakes. Ok, anyway I just suffered my first power outtage (aka Blackout) in Australia. Cool stuff. My phone has such great torchlight abilities when I turn the camera light on. LOL. Anyway I'll be posting some pretty pics tomorrow. Cheers~

Hor-chio: Music + Comedy!

Funniest thing I've watched today: http://gorillamask.net/nintendochoir.shtml You'll love it! I know I did.

Aloy's Weekly Lame Lists!

This week's top 10 list: 10 Signs you know you're in Australia and not in Singapore anymore... 10. G'day mate 9. Every one asks how are you mate 8. Everything is fucking expensive, esp the food... 7. Speaking of which, you can't find decent chicken rice for 2 bucks. 6. You thank the bus driver, and he doesn't kaopeh at you. 5. Everything closes by 6pm latest. 4. Porn p0rn pr0n! 3. You can see people in the streets with signs and not getting arrested by x4 times the riot police... 2. You have craving for Singapore food, but the "Singapore" food here sucks. 1. You can't find cheap pirated Games at every 500m. Cheers~

Ze Kaopeh about Power Rangers

This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen this week! Lol! Tomolo... Aloy's Top 10 List!

Ze Kaopeh about smelly fat angmoh

I was on the bus to school, when this incredible odour blew from the air-con towards my nose. I looked up (cos I was reading a novel) and saw... Fucking smelly pig. He was sweating all over...which was why he had this incredible odour. The worse part was I chose the best seat in the bus and I couldn't move without being obvious as the bus was getting crowded while waiting at the city for people to load. Tmd. I only have... this to say to you This photo was incidentally taken long ago to spoof the ex. But I found it damn appropriate. Stupid smelly fat ang moh pig.

Ze Kaopeh about satires

If you didn't get the below post.. to bad. It's suppose to be funny. If u're offended it only means you're guilty :D haha. And I got asked if so and so is the person, while I did say so-and-so was the person, please be reminded I only used so-and-so as an inspiration for the satire, in no way am I against that person. lotsa <3 for all. zzz LAUGH DAMNIT.

Ze Kaopeh about the telling of marks

Singaporeans are fuck typically retarded when it comes to telling others what they scored. I mean, how stupid can you get? Tell me will die isit... X: So what did you get for your xxxx test? Me: Oh soso lah, 23/30 nia. You leh? X: Oh allright loh. Me: How much lah? X: Not very good lah. Me: How much is not very good? X: Like dat loh. At this point, I give up. No point asking. Like trying to find the Lost City of El Dorado, or the Sunken Treasure of Spanish Dubloons! I mean, wtf man. You ask me how much I get, then you don't tell me how much you get. What do you want? Know my marks so you can gloat isit? Tell me will die isit? Why can't you tell me what you get, so that I can: 1. Know how well/bad you did, and if such:

• a. Well = Ask you for tips how come you did so well

• b. Bad = Share with you what I did right and find out what you did wrong so I don't make a mistake

2. Find out roughly how I am doing among my cohorts so that I know whether I'm on the right track. 3. GloatSympathise. (I really am kidding lah. I don't really think there's a fucking need to gloat) I mean seriously, what's the fucking problems with telling your marks? (And Aussies just tell me straight out what their marks are.) Singaporeans and with one other non-singaporean that I asked, just totally beat around the fucking mulberry bush. Me: Eh X, how did you do for that last project ah? X: Ok lah, not bad. Me: How much is not bad, (Inject fake laughter) tell me leh? X: Ok lah, didn't fail. Me: Oh isit? (Strong voice) I got 17/30 leh, quite bad. X: At least you pass. Me: (Fucking idiot never take the hint to tell me the marks since I made the first move) Yah, so you pass also right? X: Yah lah I also pass. (Looks around aimlessly) Me: (Giving up, and given up on dropping even more blatant hints) So if you happen to read this, and you know me. The next time I ask you for your marks, please tell me. And if you are doing better then me, let me see your work so I can know what I need to change. Stop giving me a stupid retarded beating around the fucking mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush. Here we go around the mulberry bush... Stop being a pussy and tell me your god damn marks. At least, I know I have one supporter who will tell me her marks when I ask (although it's not enough cos I don't get a representational results that I can evaluate myself.) Oh and to repeat myself again, if you have no fucking intentions of telling me your marks, don't fucking ask me my marks. The next time any fuckwit asks me how much I got, I'm gonna ask straight out if that person is gonna tell me what he/she/it scored first. And if you take offence at this post, good for you. Cheers~ p.s. I decided to do a kaopeh theme. I kinda like other blogs that go: the one about the... the crap of the.. (those really cliche titles. and since I have horrible title creative facility.... also it took me awhile (15mins) to think of a different one so I don't directly copy them... haha)

Just when you have nothing to blog...

I blogged 3 posts in 1 hour. Wtf. Anyway minor updates. I decided to put a song for the blog. No I'm not racist. And I think the song is bloody funny. And I'll leave it on for a few days. :D p.s. You can, press stop if you don't wanna listen; the button is located under my handsome picture.

Digging your ears is bad for you..

I love digging my ears, the feeling of getting those icky ear wax out is just...shiok... But out of curiousity, I went to check this website and... The ear canal may be blocked by wax when attempts to clean the ear push wax deeper into the ear canal and cause a blockage. Wax blockage is one of the most common causes of hearing loss. Fuck man. How how. My ear always has sooo much wax. And it's damn leaky. Zzz. Earwax Info So whatever you do... DO NOT CLEAN YOUR EAR!!! Or you may suffer:

What Are the Symptoms of Wax Buildup?

• partial hearing loss, may be progressive
• tinnitus, noises in the ear
• earache
• fullness in the ear or a sensation the ear is plugged

Diee...

Why no Hail?

Sadly enough, although the Gold Coast region was splattered with hail stones, Brisbane didn't even get touched. The storm came, blew happily, clearing the heat of the last few days and then nothing happened. I had enough hopes for a Hailstorm yesterday, but...only rain rain rain rain rain. Boring. When will I ever get to see hail, or snow huh? Tmd. Next vacation, I must make sure to go skiing in Australia. Nothing happening to me interesting enough to blog about the last few days. Maybe I'll really dig up one of my old secondary school stories for a laugh. Oh well, expect updates for the story blog once I get the idea down. Only have a brief idea for an intro. Bugger. Cheers~

New Story Blog!

On a spur of a moment, when wasting time today while waiting for lecture, I decided to start a blog on the adventures of Nicholas the Sibeh Suay. I intend to update that when I get the mood to write funny stuff, but it is just a spot for me to write about any funny stuff that I want about Nicholas. Do let me know what you think of that story yah? On another side note, I just finished Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman and I have but one word. WOW!!!!!!11!!!!! Go read it if you haven't. It's good. Also, while combing the UQ library I managed to find *gasp* fiction books. And I thought UQ library doesn't have any fictional stuff. I always had the impression that the library was full of academic and boring stuff. Wadya know, time to comb the stupid library. (SS&H- Social Science and Humanties) I don't really know if the other libraries have any fictional stuff though. *shrug* Cheers~

Oooo lookie here....

Wahahahahahaha, slowly getting there. Cheers~

It's fucking hot

Spring is here, but we're hitting a sweltering 34*C today. And no wind at all. Bloody hell. And the worse thing is, it will only get HOTTER on Saturday. Did I mention it's fucking hot? I'm gonna learn knitting tomorrow. Moon Ger™ will be teaching me how to. Cool man! I finally get to learn after buying all the stuff a few months ago. And then I will be able to knit a scarf and wear it around my neck and melt in the bloody heat. Did I mention it's bloody fucking hot many times yet? (And are you getting irritated yet? :p) So I will just save the scarf for next winter. Oh well. I dunno what colour cotton I bought cos I'm colour blind you see? So if I end up with a wierd purple/blue yellow/green thingy.... And OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO TO SUPRE. Die. There will be a new mosaic story! Cheers~ p.s. it's fucking hot. :p

Hit the motherlode!

I went to Toowong Library to do some mining and I hit the motherlode after 20 hoursmins of searching. Some idiot mis-shelved the book I was looking for. I spent bloody long looking under A, searching the recent returns to no avail, until I was gave up and was cruising for new books when... Bingo! (Orgasm!!! (sticky sticky mess...) So I am not only a extremely satisfied man, I am also a very sexually contented err....wtf.... Anyway... Happy!!! Plus my projects are over so I can now read all the books I have! Yay! (Orgasm!!! (More sticky mess...) Blogging again tomorrow. Gonna work on A Mosiac Story and finish up the story idea that I have but never seemed to have time to do. Cheers~

Old photos!

Wow, while digging through my computer, I found really old photoes of when I was 17. Damn I feel old. Check them out. Big guy is Marcel, who has hopefully lost abit more weight. Not healthy you know bro? My best bud, Jon and Geraldine the air stewardess who I keep flying aeroplane... :P We took the photos at Derek's comicshop at Parkway Parade, who sadly has closed down and since Parkway is now renovated I have to go recall where exactly the space was. Sigh. Geri making rabbit ears on me All of us acting tough. Though I think I was the most Ah Bengish of the lot... Just look at the length of my hair man.. :D Compare to how I look now. Hah I feel extremely nostalgic man. Anyway things I need to do before they kill me. 1. Take pictures for Selena for Supre 2. Update Mosaic Story (I'll kill myself if I don't do it) 3. Rush finish the stupid project. 4. Send a very very overdue postcard to Jenn. (Paisehhhh) Think I'll put more photos and write something about my sec school days soon.