Memoirs of a Chikopeh

As promised, the Chikopeh Chronicles will be out. It's just a small part and you are recommended to read the * at the bottom hor. Day 1 - Today hor, sibeh jialat. I tell you hor, my kopitiam no more young nubile things meimei to watch le. I sit there, trying to chuk chuk but no one hiew me. Nabeh. Can't wait till Wednesday. I'm meeting Ah Hock at Yangtze for our monthly regular. I told that bastard kanina to bring a plastic bag le. That bastard kanina never bring last time, and sat on top of me. Lucky I smart, I brought umbrella. Dunno why that stupid boy at the ticket counter stare at me like dat. Nabeh! Never see people bring umbrella to cinema before isit? Aiyah, damn sian. Wednesday I must make sure I sit on top of that fucker lanjiao. It's my turn anyway. Today nothing to do. Maybe I bring chair and sit at window and bring my binoculars see far far. Maybe can get lucky. Last time I thought I very heng, saw someone changing, but I dun have my binoculars see far far, then can only see abit abit nia. I check my rolex le. Should be same time as last time got changing. Hope is a young nubile things meimei then shiok. KANASAI! Wah laoz. How come is a very young nubile things boiboi. Nabeh. Look like ger somemore. Like dat Thai boxer. Pooi. Kanna cheated. Sian. I think I go sleep. Old le. Always want to koonz. Tomolo must ask grandson teach me how to surf net. Ah Woon say he dun wan go with us to Yangtze cos he dun need to pay anymore money once he got internet. Somemore he say, he can see everyday. Like dat I also want leh. Ah Boy say he will teach me at the Lanjiao shop. Internet really so power, even the shop can also call lanjiao. Cos it makes mine shiok ah. Stupid Ah Woon, don't wanna teach me how to use internet. Sianz ah. I go koonz. -End of Day 1- *Everything is bloody made up. I'm not a bloody Chikopeh in disguise. And hopefully this isn't my future. Ah well. Day 2 will be up in a 2 days or so. Will be Chikopeh's Lan(jiao) Shop trip! Cheers~